Can Masculinity Be Bad?

The phrase 'toxic masculinity' gets me thinking.

It implies that some of masculinity could be bad, if not that masculinity is bad entirely (but that's the sense I get because of how people talk about masculinity/men nowadays). But like one's identity, I think of the words 'masculinity' and 'femininity' as talking about the core and good nature of men and women.

We talk of aggression as a trait of masculinity now, but it just seems utterly wrong to call that a masculine trait. Maybe it is a perversion of the masculine trait of strength/guard-doggishness/protectiveness. But I'm not sure it actually is- it seems to be like that good trait, but really something else entirely. (If I ever gather my thoughts properly on why I think this way, I will write about it- it relates to a lot of other topics as well, like sins-and-virtues. Proceed now to a load of waffle...)

The negative traits I can think of right now of both men and women appear always to be true perversions of human nature as God intended it. The examples I can think of right now seem cases where a person wishes to be seen as something- when there is a selfishness in him. Aggression and recklessness show up when people want to show off. Always to be seen as something, to their gods or to other people. They are not any more the useful traits humans possess to get through life holistically- they are self-serving absolutely with no practical end (we can rationalise them, of course). As an example, recklessness is not 'taking a risk'- a risk is only a risk if you are weighing the pros and cons, which if you're thinking of pros and cons, you've lost your 'reckless' status.

So then the traits that really define a true man, and thus are those that are truly masculine, are those neutral-and-good ones which are necessary to his life, and promote his and others' health.

There's this sense in mainstream dialogue that if you use 'masculine' descriptively, or goodness! as a compliment, you must be, uh, toxically masculine yourself, or for the Patriarchy.

It just makes me actually want to run around complimenting men for being masculine when they actually are, because masculinity seems on decline and I miss it, or the memory of it left in stories and history.

Some people do have a bad picture of what men should be like. But why, oh why, should them define 'masculine' for us? They are misdefining it. Do not give them the floor. Fight back and say what being a proper man really is. Saying 'be a man' doesn't necessarily mean 'impose your strength over all weaker people.' Some people mean 'take the initiative and find out when people need help and give it.'