Conflict and Love

I don't necessarily like or dislike conflict, because conflict isn't a question of like or dislike; it just is. It will be there in honest relationships, and festering conflict must be dealt with so that Truth can be restored.

Truth looks like being able to love and be honest with people, speaking the truth in love as the Bible says. I mean particularly truths that can seem negative or hurtful when looked at through an enabler's eyes (in codependency). As long as two people hide from each other and continue in deceit and manipulation, there can never, ever be real love. It will always be insipid placation of the other, a work of trying to appease the negative emotions (not just anger, but sadness and disappointment as well) that could arise in the other. It is slavery, not love.

Love in my mind is honesty and truth- love is not possible without those. Oh, how beautiful a love that is truthful and honest is. A love that does not lie even when it seems the truth could hurt. Especially lie with sweet, syrupy lies that masquerade love.

There cannot be true relationship between people unless there is in each person an allegiance to Truth above any selfish concern. If both parties do not ally themselves with Truth, when adversity comes along, it will sunder the relationship either by separation or by turning the relationship into a sickly exchange of mutual buttering-up, ultimately a fear of letting the other person down, losing them due to disagreement.

To let someone continue to appear in right relationship with one is the sweet, syrupy lie of saying 'I'm in right relationship with you.' It's not love, it's not compassionate or respectful. Deceit can never be respectful- it is saying to the other person that you cannot trust them to handle the truth. The soft bigotry of low expectations.