Is Affection Openly Given True Affection?

If there is no particular affection for those we more closely know, and love affectionately, there is no incentive to try to know and love people better- there is no reward for cultivating friendship, for sacrificing oneself, if a love is given liberally to everyone that shows no peculiar regard for those one knows well over strangers and acquaintances. 

Perhaps it is wrong not to show particular affection to those whom we love most. But beware affection shown simply so that others outside of your Group (Inner Ring as Lewis talks about) can see the affection the members show each other- that is not affection to the person it is given. It has been stripped of its innocent ways- it is now only a way to prove to yourself how very great you are to have such a Group that those outsiders don't have.

Is physical affection anything worth earning and having if it is liberally bestowed on everyone? I like hugs, but I don't like being given them by people I don't love. There are, I accept, some duties to hug those blood-bound to oneself, but the prevalence of hugging Anyone and Everyone nowadays is beyond me. I prefer to keep hugs as a special sign of the love of friends for each other. (Side-hugs are in a different category, perhaps. But I'm not sure, not sure...)

I don't let myself become angry for being hugged when I didn't want to, but I'm realising recently that it may be a mistake to hold myself back from being bothered by hugging. My masterful plan is to make myself be numb to the situation of being hugged; not even to know it is happening or has happened. Therefore, I have been doing almost all hugs for the last ten years without any emotion. What I once loved now can bring no satisfaction.

There's a question of preference to the whole affection topic. I believe that the desire to be generous and compassionate to everyone is why we've got ourselves into a very affectionate culture. We don't want to prefer people. It's good to be concerned about wrong preference of people, but we are concerned with preference because of wanting to make ourselves look good in other's eyes. Showing affection liberally doesn't erase one's desire to amplify one's reputation, the most it does is gloss over it.

Not preferring some over others is about not honouring some more than others for reasons related to any earthly, societal value.